Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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