In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
