who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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