By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
