Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
