I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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