I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
