i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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