Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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