Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She announced her abortion via fbk
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
