garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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