Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
