Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
