guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
