genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
