I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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