I smell stomach acid.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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