I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I think people are normalizing furries
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
