theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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