I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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