you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
