but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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