I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
