we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
