Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
