as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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