Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
