shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
