I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
This is my gift to your gina
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
