I feel like abortions should bother me more
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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