Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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