508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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