Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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