i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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