She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
