Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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