Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
