I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
