bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
