im drinking this country out of the recession.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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