Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
