we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
