If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
