when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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