I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
