we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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