OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize