Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She bit a glass in half.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
