btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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