Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
